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perhaps Thatcher may also Terry Smith "I'VE got the trigger sorted out: now une up some Argies in my sights!"

With these boisterous words Margaret Thatcher, Empress of the Falklands, finally melted the hearts of even the most reserved kelpers and bored TV cameramen on her triumphal tour of the largely barren islands.

While the blue-clad Premier peered through the sights of a 105mm gun, the surrounding hillsides were eagerly scoured in search of a targef of non-British stock: but, predictably, 15 decades of imperial rule, culminating in the explosive climax of the battles last summer, had driven even the most hardy Latin Americans from the Falklands.

The lack of live targets was compounded by a lack of live heroes: the soldiers who went through hell to preserve the isolation of the islanders and restore British military rule were either firmly underground or back in Britain - some still in hospitals, others on the dole.

Forced to make do and mend, the all-conquering Prime I Minister attempted instead to make friends with the various corpses sible future bloodshed, the that deck the Falklands landscape: 'Water him lands gave Mrs Thatcher well, you should get a nice crop of gooseberries on Islands' this grave" , she told a crowd at Goose Green, who had been kicked out of their beds at 5 am by the farm manager to form a welcoming party.

"Without people like him we might never stand a chance at the next election" , she muttered in awe- should think again. struck gratitude at the graves of Colonel "Bonkers" Smith, whose single-handed raid on an Argentine machine gun post had seen him blown to pieces.

And, giving well rehearsed off-the-cuff lectures on British imperial history, secured. she entranced the groups of soldiers drafted in to make up for the shortage of native admirers. Since at least 1770, she pointed out, - even before the invention of the BBC - British warships have beexploit- 5 million unemployed. ing, abusing. ing the peoples of Latin America. "And if anyone they & weare gonk to stop, In exchange for such pledges of unlimited pos- in the future to the safety of the Southern hemisruling clique on the Falk- phere, while the missiles and warheads she and the Freedom of the Reagan have commissioned at vast expense put an end But if anyone should to society (and life!) as we think that, hard on the know it. heels of the 150th anniver- Perhaps some day from a sary of the colonial seizure command post dug deep of the Falklands, under Goose Green, our Thatcher's visit was inten- great Cold Warrior will ded only as a brutally press the button that will offensive gesture against condemn the populations of the Argentine people, they Europe and the Soviet Union to deaths even more It marked chiefly the barbaric than those inflicbeginning of a new offen- ted by British cluster sive against the British bombs upon the Argenworking class - in the form tine army. of a determined drive for • In any event the slaughre-election during 1983, in ter and mayhem has which the 'Falklands Fac- secured at least one real tor' will be as ruthlessly benefit for British imperialrevived as it was bloodily ism: though its Foreign Secretary may be unwelAnd, who knows? In this come in the Middle East day and age of electronic and the whole of Latin gadgetry perhaps even the America, there are at least whole election campaign a few hunks of rock in the can be run from the Falk- South Atlantic where he lands, thus avoiding any can be assured of a friendly encounter with Britain's greeting - and where those most likely to criticise Indeed, given the British policies are securely common view that Europe buried six feet deep. could be destroyed in the outbreak of a nuclear war, dream of retiring some time iduals. They're sending us money and passing resolutions of support. Also, some workers help us in other ways, like unemployed workers, who help us on our pickets.

"But we don't get much support from the Social Democrats (Denmark's right wing-dominated Labour Party). They write about us in their paper. But they just write straight news reports, like the rest of the media.

"Only the Social Democrat officials of some small unions have given us donations; most leading Social Democrats won't help us.

«Two unions have given us 25,000 Kroners each